Have you ever been through a crazy hard time? Like, a brutally painful crazy hard time? If you’re reading this, chances are you have. When people reject you, betray you, abandon you…especially people close to you…it’s incredibly difficult not to develop bitterness and an unforgiving heart.

I went through a few years of darkness and pain…and came out completely broken. I experienced rejection, betrayal, and abandonment. Thankfully, our God never abandons us and never gives up on broken messes. Isaiah prophesied about how the Messiah would act towards the broken:

A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out. (Matthew 12:20)

This was fulfilled in Jesus. How comforting!!

If you’re broken, even to the point of knowing there’s no chance you could ever rebuild yourself, you can FULLY entrust yourself to Jesus…He will never ever ever ever EVER give up on you! He will NOT cast you aside, and He will NOT reject or betray or abandon you!

Photo by Andrea Ledda on Unsplash

So…I ended up all broken and had all these deep, dark feelings to work through. Friends, forgiveness is such a big issue. Sometimes we get confused about it, and think that forgiveness is equal to excusing a person’s behaviour. I did that for a while. But it always left me feeling angry and bitter at the injustice! God never lets wrongs go overlooked or unpunished. Remember Jesus on the Cross. THAT was the punishment for all sin. The Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world. God hates sin, hates injustice, hates when people hurt us, more than we do! So we have to remember how deep our Father’s love is for us, and that He is defending us even when no one else is. Only when I tried to look at myself through the eyes of my loving Heavenly Father, did I have moments where I felt comforted in my bitterness, and felt like I could let go and let God deal with the people who hurt me. I would sing that line from “Lord I Need You” that goes “my one defence, my righteousness…” and I would feel comforted. God defends us, even if no one else does!

One day while I was yet again working through forgiveness, I saw this impassible MOUNTAIN in my mind.  It was like there was a barrier before me that was stopping me from moving forward, and preventing me from intimacy with God. That barrier was unforgiveness. So I wrote this song, Mountains.

This song is brutally honest.

Listen to the words of my first verses:

Verse 1:

They…stand like Mountains in my mind;  

They’ve…knocked me down a thousand times

The memories of all the wasted life

Oh, keep me chained up inside

Verse 2:

They…bruised and beat me when I was down

And …I’m trying to get back off the ground

I, …I    want to let it go for good…  Oh, I, …I      want to break free!

I’m not going to pretend I’ve got it all figured out.

I won’t preach a message to you about unforgiveness, pretending that I’m now immune to it. Because there are days that the ugly feelings of bitterness still pop up!  I catch myself thinking in old patterns, and once I catch myself, I’ll often say (sometimes even out loud), “Nope! I’ve already forgiven that person. Lord, please bless them today. Thank You that YOU are dealing with that person, and I don’t have to carry that burden. Thank You for forgiving me for all my sins, and I ask You to also forgive that person as well.” …This is not something I pray out of the good feelings of my heart. And I think that’s what makes it powerful. I pray this in obedience. And often when I do, the Lord actually gives me those positive emotions in exchange (not always…sometimes it’s a battle and I have to remind myself not to depend on emotions so much).

So, this song really is about forgiveness. But it’s also about whatever Mountains you have in your life that are preventing you from moving forward with God.

That can be the sin of gossip or slander. That can be the sin of laziness. That can be the sin of envy or covetousness. That can be the sin of greed, sexual immorality, pride, lust, etc.

Recognize whatever it is that’s come between YOU and GOD. Then join me in singing this Chorus:

“May these Mountains…come crashing down! May these Mountains…come falling to the ground!  Only You can tear down the walls, by Your power, they will fall, and these Mountains…will be nothing at all!”

A final word of encouragement…

Don’t give up hope, my friend! 

13 No temptation [trial or testing] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted [tried or tested] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted [tried or tested] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.  ~1 Corinthians 10:13

God has WONDERFUL things ahead for us as we walk closely to Him. That might mean some painful surrendering or giving up of Mountains in our lives. But it’ll all be more that worth it to be walking closely with the Creator and Saviour and Lord of all. He is sooooo worth it. <3

I’m praying for whoever reads this. God’s got you!